The Ep. Heero Doesn't Want You To See
by KitSparrow
Summary: Heero has a toothache and Duo thinks he should see a dentist... insanity ensues. The rating is for swears only, as I have a tendancy to write that in...


Gundam Wing: The Episode Heero Doesn't Want You to See...  
  
Heero Yui and Duo Maxwell were in the middle of breakfast. Heero quietly asked Duo to cover for him during Math because he had a mission at that time. Duo passed him the butter. Heero buttered his toast, bit in, then clutched his lower right jaw in pain, muttering, "Dammit!"  
  
"Hey what's wrong?"  
  
"Just this tooth, been giving me trouble for a while," Heero told his allie. Then he went back to his breakfast as though nothing had happened.  
  
The two boys sat in silence, Duo staring ahead with an odd expression on his face.  
  
"Ya' know, you should probly see a dentist about that tooth," he mused.  
  
"Wah? No, I don't need to see a doctor, I can take care of myself!" Heero looked away nervously.  
  
"You afraid of the dentist of something?" Duo laughed.  
  
"No. I, uh just don't need to...,"  
  
"Hello! This isn't yer leg we're talking about! Cavities can't fill themselves! And I seriously doubt you can do it yourself!" Duo paused. "Can you?" He sat down, hoping no one had noticed. "Hmm... Unless you had a soldering iron...," The God of Death thought out loud.  
  
Heero's eyes brightened, he got up quietly and left the cafeteria. The other boy caught a strain of "... keys to shop room..."  
  
"Dammit!" Duo cried and ran after him, almost knocking over the table in the process. The other students looked around,   
blinking surprisedly, then resumed eating.  
  
****  
  
Somewhere else, Zechs Marchise had just finished his own breakfast. He headed down to the work room to see what was   
being done with the Talgeese, and how much longer it would take to restore it. He was looking over some records when he   
heard an odd humming, felt a strange pressure on his head, and then realized he was stuck to the wall by his mask. A leaflet of paper fell from the bunch he had been looking at, he could barely make out 'magnetic walls are to test the Talgeese's durability'. Then he remembered that he'd given his techs the week off. "Oh damn," he muttered.  
  
****  
  
An hour later, the receptionist at one of the local dentist's office's looked up to see a boy in one of the local school's uniforms and a long braid of brown hair enter. He was dragging another boy in the same dress, but with much shorter hair, by what appeared to be a rope.  
  
"No! I don't need to see a dentist!" Heero yelled, wriggling and trying to escape his bonds, silently cursing every one of the   
knots, then concentrated on not going into the office. He didn't really care about making a scene just then.  
  
"Hey, uh, my pal here needs to see a dentist as soon as you can manage," Duo said, seemingly ignoring the fact that he'd just basically dragged his 'pal' in kicking and screaming. "I think he's got a cavity."  
  
"Hmm... does he have an appointment?" she asked.  
  
"Um, no. It's been giving him trouble for a while, but he's been trying to ignore it. Hey stop that!" Duo's last comment was   
directed to Heero who had managed to get one of the knots untied by rubbing it against a sharp edge on the foot of a lobby   
chair. Duo quickly retied the knot, then turned back to the receptionist.  
  
She gave him an odd look, then flipped through her files, murmuring, " Booked,... busy,... booked,... appointment,... busy,... ah here we go, Dr. Nick! Come this way," She opened a door and motioned for them to follow her through.  
  
Duo paused, slightly stunned. "Wow, I thought it'd take at least an hour... Well, c'mon Heero, time to see the doctor!"  
  
"Trust me, you're gonna regret this later," Heero promised through clenched teeth.  
  
****  
  
Dr. Nick, a young man fresh from med. school, surveyed his work room with glee. Absolutely perfect, he could hardly wait for his first patient. There was a knock at the door and Jill, the receptionist, entered followed by a boy in uniform straining at a rope over his shoulder. A pair of brown shoes appeared around the corner, then were yanked back quickly by their owner.  
  
"This boy says his 'friend' may have a serious cavity that needs filling," Jill indicated Duo, who had turned around and was pulling with all his strength on the rope.  
  
"No! I'm not going in there!" the owner of the afore mentioned shoes yelled before the other boy gave one more pull at the rope and Heero appeared from around the doorway on the ground, a determined expression plastered on his face.  
  
"Oh, I uh forgot to mention that he tried to take a soldering iron to his tooth about thirty minutes ago... but I don't think he managed anything...," the first boy mentioned.  
  
"He what?!" So much for looking forward to the first patient, this guy seemed to be a complete nut!  
  
"He... never mind." Duo shook his head.  
  
"Patient's name?" Jill asked in a businesslike way.  
  
"Uh...," Duo and Heero, now standing upright again, traded nervous glances, "...uh... Thomas Carpenter!" Heero exclaimed. "You idiot, I told you I didn't need to see a dentist!" he muttered in Duo's ear.  
  
"Who's Thomas Carpenter?" Duo asked in reply.  
  
"Old classmate."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Thomas Carpenter...," Jill murmured, writing the name down on a form.  
  
"Well, ah, Thomas, why don't you have a seat?" Dr. Nick said nervously indicating the chair.  
  
Heero looked blankly at the chair, then turned around and tried to flee again. Duo held the rope tightly, "No, no you don't Hee- uh, Thom!" Things continued like this for a while, but it ended up with Duo tying the protesting Heero to the dentist's chair.  
  
"Well, uh, I gotta go, class and stuff!" Duo said cheerily. "Have fun He- Thom!" With that, he left  
  
Alone with his psychopathic patient, Dr. Nick went about looking for some proper anesthesia. He came up with Tylenol, happy gas, and happy gas with extra happy. He chose the last, briefly wondering what was up with the little sticker that read:  
  
  
ONLY FOR USE AT EMPLOYEE PARTIES!!!  
  
He decided to give to the boy anyway.  
  
"What's that?" Heero asked suspiciously.  
  
"This? Happy gas, it'll make you feel relaxed when I give you the anesthesia, until I finish patching up that tooth of yours," Dr. Nick was trying desperately to sound jovial, and possibly get the boy to act like a normal kid. Most kids would have freaking out, but he was just sitting there, perfectly calm and glaring at the door throughout which his friend had left.  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
Dr. Nick gave up trying to make conversation after a while, the kid was very unnerving.  
  
****  
  
Two or three hours later, Duo was again at the dentist's office. Jill lead him back to the room, Heero was just waking up and   
looking perplexedly at the rope binding him to the chair. Dr. Nick explained to Duo that the effects of the extra happy happy gas hadn't quite worn off an that "Thomas" would need looking after until it wore of. Duo nodded mutely, watching Heero (now untied, Duo had the rope looped over his shoulder) pick through the equipment and tools, his eyes lingering on the more shiny ones. Heero laughed quietly and pointed out that he had a mission some time today, quite soon actually.  
  
"Mission?" asked Dr. Nick.  
  
"Mission? Oh, uh, Thom means that he has an important exam in one of his classes today. It's, uh, an inside joke," Duo   
ad-libbed.  
  
"Uh-huh," Dr. Nick was very glad this whole ordeal was almost over.  
  
"Oh God," Duo whispered once they'd gotten outside, "Your mission! Quick, where did you say it was?!"  
  
"I don't think I did," Heero knew there was some reason why he shouldn't be talking about missions out loud, to anyone, or   
even in broad daylight. He couldn't remember what is was, so it probably wasn't that important anyway. He happily told Duo all the basic information concerning the mission that he could remember, Duo trying to shush him at several intervals.  
  
"I'm gonna need some help with you," Duo decided out loud.  
  
"No. I'm doing this mission alone," Heero half protested.  
  
Duo could see that arguing would get him nowhere, and he knew that if Heero was left to his own devices, he would probably end up dead, or worse. "It'll be easier for you if I'm there to help out.  
  
Heero thought for a moment, "Hmmm... okay, you can come!" He grinned and ran on ahead.  
  
"Hey, wait!"  
  
****  
  
Thirty minutes later, gundams Deathscythe and Wing were joined by Heaveyarms at an appointed meeting place.  
  
"So, Heero needs help with a mission?" Trowa asked slowly, "That's a first."  
  
"Well, no, actually Heero shouldn't even be taking this mission, but I can't talk him out of it."  
  
"I can do this mission myself, you two are just backup!" Heero cut in, "Oh, lookit, birdies! Wheee!"  
  
Trowa blinked, "What's he on?"  
  
Duo sighed deeply, then explained the days preceding to Trowa. "And don't think I haven't tried to talk him out of it, I have! But that's one thing he's managed to hang on to, even with drugs in the way, his sense of having to complete his mission right off."  
  
Trowa thought over the situation carefully. He and Duo sat facing each other, trying to figure out a solution to their problem. Heero ran around chasing birds and muttering things like, "Flowers are pretty, like birds and Releina!"  
  
"Hey Heero!" Duo called finally, "c'mon, we have to go now. Get in your gundam, let's go already!"  
  
Heero complied, and they left. The Wing was under double surveillance, something Heero wouldn't have tolerated had he been in his normal state of mind, but now he took no notice. Duo and Trowa continued to talk privately through the entire trip. Heero almost crashed the Wing twice, but they made it to the base well enough. Since the mission was to retrieve data on the mobile suite and battle plans rather than make a huge scene as per usual, they stashed their gundams in a covenient place nearby and made the rest of their way on foot.  
  
"Doesn't look like they have much security on this side," Trowa said, surveying the scene through a pair of binoculars. They snuck in and made their way to the main computer room. It must have been supper hour, or some other meal time, as there was practically no one there, save two or three techs in the very back who took no notice of the three gundam pilots.  
  
Heero produced a disk from nowhere and inserted it into the drive. Trowa made sure Heero was doing what he supposed to (in a very discreet way, so that Heero wouldn't notice), and Duo kept an eye on the techs, the other on the door.  
  
Getting out was harder. They had almost made it back out when they turned a corner only to be faced with twenty OZ soldiers.  
  
"Oh, shit!" whispered Duo.  
  
"Don't worry, they can't stop us!" exclaimed Heero.  
  
"And why, pray tell, not?" asked Trowa.  
  
" 'Cause we're on a mission from God!" Heero crowed ecstatically.  
  
Duo looked momentarily puzzled, "How many times have you seen that movie?"  
  
"Three of four.... hundred."  
  
"Oh. God."  
  
Trowa, meanwhile, convinced the soldiers (who were pretty stupid as soldiers go) that they were mearly lost tourists and were leaving now. "C'mon guys, let's go," he said, shooing the younger two pilots out the door. Heero looked like he was going to protest, but Trowa managed to dissuade him from it by telling him that his new mission was to get safely back to his dorm room. Heero again looked puzzled, but accepted it.  
  
"Hey, nice job on getting us out of there," Duo told Trowa as they headed to their original meeting place.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
****  
  
When they got back, twilight was falling, and Heero was still under the affect of the drugs.  
  
"What a dopey mission! Look, mission complete, mission uncomplete, mission complete, mission uncomplete, ...," Heero said as he jumped back and forth across the threshold. Duo smacked his forehead with his hand, resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall, "I don't think I can take much more of this!"  
  
"Well, unfortunately, you'll have to. I'm probably in enough trouble at the circus as it is, I have to go. Don't worry, it can't last much longer, a few hours at most." Trowa left, hurrying to get back to his temporary home, trying to think of a plausible excuse for his lengthy absence.  
  
" Only a few hours he says...," Duo grumbled, then turned to see what Heero was doing now. He found the Wing's pilot half way under his bed. "What are you doing?"  
  
Heero's voice was muffled so his response was along the lines of "Mmmorph murbleph." Which of course made no sense to   
Duo. Heero inched out from under the bed, and stood up dizzily, trying to shake the dust from his hair. " I was looking for   
something."  
  
Then he investigated the closet. He found that the previous occupant of the room had left some things behind: old shoes, most of them right for some reason, a hat, some clothes, a few books, all normal stuff except for the last thing, a plastic tea set. Duo wondered briefly what all that was about, but decided it was probably better not to ask. A thought crossed his mind, "Heero, where's that disk? You know, the one with the information from the base?"  
  
"Over there somewhere," Heero said, waiving his hand dismissively in the direction of his desk.  
  
Duo checked the desk, to make sure it was there. It wasn't. "Heero, it's not over here, do you have it:?" He turned back to   
Heero as a small bird flew in through the window.  
  
Heero grinned, holding the disk in his right hand as though he were about to give it to Duo. Then he noticed the bird circling his room, he stuffed the disk into a pocket and gave chase, his hands outstretched to catch the poor thing.  
  
The bird circled the room a few more times, then noticed the open window again and made a beeline for it. Heero gave no   
thought to the fact that human boys technically can't fly, and flung himself out the window and into a tree outside before Duo could do anything about it.  
  
"Auugh!" Duo turned, ran out the door and down the stairs to meet Heero just as he hit the ground. Duo faced the other boy, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. "You're insane! You fool, why in heaven's name did you do that?!"  
  
Heero was, at least, not terribly hurt by his short flight. He grinned again, flashed a peace sign and ran off in the opposite   
direction of the dorm. Duo uttered a low scream and gave chase, thinking, why am I even bothering? Because he endangers   
everything in this state, he told himself and continued after Heero.  
  
He finally caught up to Heero on the football field. Heero had stopped because the sprinklers were on. He seemed to be   
mesmerized by them.  
  
"Heero? Hello, ya' in there?" Duo asked, waving a hand in Heero's face.  
  
"Hm?" Heero stared blankly at Duo for a moment, then pushed him into the aim of the sprinkler and stood laughing for a   
moment, then hurried off.  
  
I wonder if he's doing this on purpose... he did say I'd regret it... Duo just sat there in the wet grass, getting soaked,   
wondering weather Heero was actually sane and this was just pay back. Then he realized that he was sitting on a football field under a sprinkler while Heero was out were he could be doing anything. I hope he really is bluffing, he thought and stood up trying to brush himself off, then ran to find Heero.  
  
Again, he found Heero just in front of their dorm, staring up at his window. Instead of risking a repeat of last time, Duo grabbed a handful of Heero's shirt and looked him in the face, "Gimme the disk!" he ordered.  
  
Heero, instead of protesting, handed Duo the disk, and let himself be lead back to his room. Duo closed and locked the   
window so Heero wouldn't try that stunt again. He locked the door for extra measure, then parked Heero in front of the   
computer and turned on the screen saver which greatly amused Heero for almost an hour. Duo could not relax for that entire hour, and busied himself in trying to read one of the books from Heero's closet.  
  
Finally, several hours later, probably at about midnight, Heero collapsed on the floor, curled up in the fetal position, and fell fast asleep there. Duo decided to just leave him there and, hoping for the best, went back to his own room.  
  
****  
  
The next day at breakfast, Duo relayed the previous days happenings with growing glee to an obviously stunned Heero.  
  
"I what?!" Heero shouted for a third time and leapt out of his chair.  
  
"Hey, don't get so upset! Ya' know, it's kinda funny now that I think about it...," Duo mused.  
  
"To you maybe," Heero grumbled, picking up his chair and regaining his seat at the table.  
  
Duo knew better than to continue the conversation any further just then, and continued with his breakfast in silence.  
  
Some girls at another table laughed and pointed, then whispered among themselves. Heero glared at them and wondered if   
annoying classmates counted as enemies.  
  
****  
  
Again, somewhere else. Zechs was still stuck to to wall. He had tried every to get out of the infernal trap but taking his mask off, and he refused to do that. He banged his fists against the wall and screamed, "Somebody help me!"  
  
END.  
  
So, what d'ya' think? com'n e-mail (sparrowsnest@earthlink.net) me and tell me....pwease? 


End file.
